chapter 27 : diapers and drugs

each year at my husband's work they have a giving tree. if you would like to, you can choose a tag from the tree and purchase the item on it for someone in need. we have participated each year, but this year our hearts broke.
one tag was requesting things for a 1 year old child. the parent who needs this wasn't asking for toys or stuff that is commonplace to most of us, but they asked for diapers.
with tears filling my eyes at this moment, as a mother and human being, i can't imagine having that be my wish for my child at Christmas...diapers. how selfish am i each day to not remember how blessed i truly am? how ungrateful am i to not give more of my monetary blessings as well as my time to those who have less than i?
last year we had a similar experience. some tags were asking for gift cards so that elderly people could be able to get their prescriptions filled. my heart aches to realize again how much we truly have and yet we always want more and better.
i guess when i don't see something i don't remember its there and that is how i am about what others need around me.
too often i think we are too worried about how someone might use our help. perhaps we shouldn't waste our time on what they might do with what we give and instead focus on just giving.
this holiday season and in the future, i hope that i can be more aware of how much i have and more willing to give. after all, isn't that what Christ would want us to do? He would want us to give of ourselves without thought of ourselves. who am i to not do better?
i have so much. i can buy my children diapers (the expensive ones at that), we get our prescriptions covered 100%, and we still have money to buy what we want.
my heart aches...