chapter 25 : just let them be

10.23.2007

my oldest daughter is very cautious in new situations and around new people. as a Mom, i want her to be outgoing, respond to people who talk to her and smile too. i find myself wanting her to be like the other kids in the group at the library who are singing, dancing and showing the fun they're having rather than just staring at everyone. i think, "what is she doing?" and i even tell her to be like everyone else. i selfishly want to show the world how adorable she is and all of the cute things she does at home. i need to stop and relish in how positive this cautiousness actually is.
the ironic part that hit me today is how much she is like me. i'm definitely not a shy person, but in a new situation, i can be quiet until i feel more comfortable and maybe less judged and we're both very analytical.
she takes time to warm up and be comfortable and i should be grateful for that. i should be glad that she isn't running around talking to everyone we see. i should be thankful that she isn't so comfortable with strangers that she will just go with them. i should be happy that my child wants safety and stability and she doesn't immediately find that in an uncomfortable or strange new situation.
i think of the many lessons which i want to teach my children, one stands out at this moment. i want them to be who they are and NEVER be afraid of it. i want them to be confident and happy. i never want them to feel ashamed for their character traits that make them individuals. i want to just let them be and never ever cause them to doubt who they are.
i want this for them so much because i know what it is like to feel this way and can't imagine putting that on my children. i love my girls so much and love their differences as well as their sweet smiles.
i am also so grateful that i am recognizing this at this moment and enjoying WHO my child is. she isn't bad, weird and nothing is wrong with her. she is cautious and for that, i'm grateful.

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