chapter 111 : reasons to rave...

i have been finding/seeing/loving so many things lately and to try to combat the STUPID Seattle area rain, i feel that i need to share these amazing finds. in no specific order...

* a friend introduced me to this work and i WISH i could it too.

* so grateful that i found this, one of my new graphic design idols, that led me to this.

* wish i could do this type of thing, among many others, as well.

* i LOVE these new pudding singles. i am a HUGE chocolate lover, but don't really care for chocolate pudding, cake or ice cream. these new singles are more like mousse and set up in about 5 minutes. a perfect little snack if you are in need of a fix...

* found this great fabric shop, Fabric Supplies by Charlie, on etsy through a friend's blog. the prices seem so much better than what my local, overpriced Ben Franklin sells. maybe someday if i save my $ then i can order a whole bunch of treats for Sweet Stella here.

* one my most favorite photography blogs ever, Bethany Jackman Photography. wish she would have been available when i was getting married.

* a favorite creative blog, my crazy life..., i swear this woman's hiding her superhero cape somewhere.

* of course, who couldn't LOVE the great perspective and crafty eye that Candace Todd has. love her new little creation too, sew along.

* don't feel i could do much justice to this post of the things i love without mentioning some of my all time favorites too...my happy little life, the nienie dialogues, it's good to be Ashley Carter and simply.

* and finally...in the past i wasn't really that much of a Coldplay fan, but this one has me hooked. i LOVE it and once i hear it, i can't get it out of my head or the thoughts of choreography i could come up with for it as well...

hope you enjoy as much as i am...

yours truly.

chapter 108 : i think i'm in LOVE again...

while TRYING to learn CS3 by reading/watching tutorials, i found this company, Go Media, and let's just say that they are AMAZING! want to see for yourself, check out their designs. they are what i would consider "contemporary abstract" and i LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their work. one of the highlights also is the fact that they sell stock images for commercial/personal/whatever use for pretty cheap...way better than istock, etc.
the more "art" i find like this, the more i REALLY want to get into graphic design and can't wait to learn more.

check it out...i'm sure you'll LOVE it too.

yours truly.

chapter 107 : oh my goodness...

so i'm so GLAD that So You Think You Can Dance is on again. i actually love the audtion shows more than the actual finalist ones because you can see the dancers present their best moves and see amazing technique.
i wish that i would have realized my potential is dance and had never quit, but then again i don't think i could wear the clothes or do some of the partner moves ;). i'm so happy that i'm back into it now though because once it's in your heart, i don't think you EVER let it go.

i also LOVE that we have the opportunity to take two of the most precious things Heavenly Father has given us, our bodies and music, and combine them to display passion, emotion and to show who we really are. talents truly are blessings and who knows, maybe one day i'll have the opportunity to work with someone like Mia Michaels too.

yours truly.

chapter 99 : the time has come

my baby is one tomorrow.
how blessed i am.

you are so
beautiful
sweet
happy
loving
mischievous
curious
funny
and amazing.

oh how we love our little Chubbly Bubbly!

chapter 96 : this n' that

right now i am so LOVING :

* being creative...making baby blankets, clips, pillowcases, etc. (pictures to come)
* dancing again
* my family
* i saw the sun today if only for a brief period
* the many ways i'm exercising my talents
* that my color printer FINALLY has ink once again thanks to the cheap deal on eBay
* Cirque du Soleil very soon
* fresh fruit
* the SUPER cute tin box of fabric that i got for 50% off
* the new, little wooden bird i got...so cute!!!
* my sewing machine

i am currently not IN LOVE with :

* my lack of patience
* rain
* not being able to attend Jacqueline's dance class at least twice a week
* bedtime
* when people share inappropriate, personal information
* feeling guilty
* still not knowing my "place" in life
* bad timing
* my "muffin-top" :(
* being hungry, but nothing sounding good

yours truly.

chapter 94 : blessed memories

some major points that are still looming on my mind :
* i haven't given up hope on being able to go to cosmetology school just yet, but i'm coming to ACCEPT that NOW isn't the right time for it.
* i DESPERATELY want a mini schnauzer. i think it would make my world a better place...some may disagree, but i LOVE puppies and so do my girls.
* i'm currently working on this baby quilt by the oh so FABULOUS Kelly McCaleb...oh and about a million other projects that i never finish...
* i'm so grateful for how MINDFUL my Heavenly Father is of me and for friends that let us invite ourselves to their house...not mentioning any names, jennifer!

my thoughts tonight though are turned to a very important person who i was privileged to know in my life, my sweet, yet bold Nana. today was her birthday. she was my maternal great-grandmother and i was so BLESSED to grow up so close to so many of my grandparents.
tonight, my hearts swells with gratitude for the woman she was; the caffeine-free diet coke habit she had; her soap-opera, Wheel of Fortune and Murder She Wrote addictions; the way she always welcomed us into her home without reservations because we were hers; her false teeth; playing Huskerdoo with me; the way she listened to the local police scanner and then would go and find out where all the "action" was taking place; the way she is still with me each day.

who would i be without the irreplaceable love that i was shown while i was growing up by these wonderful, faithful, kind and sometimes harshly honest elders in my life? the truth is that i don't know, but more importantly, i do feel a great connection to my past because of them. i learned some wonderful lessons because of who they were and i can only imagine how sweet our reunion will one day be when i can thank them for their aid in my life.

i KNOW that they are with me and help me get through hardships i face. i can feel them lifting and buoying me at times when i feel alone. what a BEAUTIFUL blessing from our Heavenly Father to know that i have extra help when i need it most. i am truly never forgotten even amidst my inadequacies.

so THANK YOU my sweet Nana, Grandpa Jim, Grandma Beth and Grandpa Elmo for your ever present strength and life. i love you, miss you and pray i can pass on who you were to my children if only through my memories of you.

yours truly.

chapter 84 : it's all you

(my little tribute to his many talents. this is a cgi model that he created. it's not real, but looks amazing!)

mr. clean's birthday is tomorrow. we're getting old!
we got him some party hats, blowers and even "pin the tail on the donkey." i also got him a new lens for the rebel, but later cancelled the order. so now i guess i'm saying Happy Birthday to him by letting him enjoy World of Warcraft once again.
it really doesn't take much to make him happy.

i hope you have an amazing day and know that your girls LOVE you!

yours truly.

chapter 83 : .

today you gave me a gift
not a tangible gift, but one of
Hope.

you helped me be able to
Enjoy.
Love.
Laugh.

i truly love the way you
Love.
life and never question why you
Deserve.
such
Happiness.

in those intimate moments we spent
just being together, i
Loved.
you so much
perhaps more than i've ever allowed myself to

you make me
Happy.
you teach me to
Live.
in the moment and not regret who i am

you
Help.
me to be able to
Feel.

i
Love.
you

chapter 75 : i wish these...

all graced the hangers in my closet. Summertime, i can't wait to give you a big fat kiss!

chapter 74 : i truly heart this lately...

yours truly.

chapter 64 : got to get a little more out...

recently i've been sick. not just any kind of sick, but the kinds where you hack 5 times in a row until your throat is clear, sneeze three times, make your bed soaking wet because your crazy fever finally broke and blow your nose about 7 times in one try...ok maybe too much info for some of you, but i was SUPER sick.
during my worst night, while waking up for like the 16th time, i could have swore it was like 5:30 in the morning. i needed the greater part of the night to be gone and for it to be at least 5:30 am, but lo and behold, it was a mere 12:30. i had only been asleep for like 2 hours. i thought i was going to pass out, not from the balloon-head congestion (although i felt dizzy many times), but because the night wasn't even half over.
i decided it was time to put it in someone else's hands and rely on my faith to get me through. it truly was a wonderful reminder of how blessed i am to have the Priesthood so abundant in my life through mr. clean.
when the oil touched my head, my pounding headache calmed and i knew there was an end in sight.

i am also so grateful for the Holy Ghost and the subtle promptings i receive. they never fail me when i choose to follow them. a while ago, my baby K was playing and since she's started putting more things in her mouth, i try to be extra careful if there are small pieces around. this day, baby K decided to try a sticker and when i checked on her and by heeding a prompting, i could see she was chewing on something. i decided to swab her mouth and luckily i was able to remove the sticker. she definitely could have choked on it and i don't even want to think about what could have happened.

i am so grateful for the promptings that come through the Spirit and for the Priesthood. i am truly blessed.

chapter 63 : dance, my true passion

when i see you, i miss you.
it makes me think of what might have been,
what could have been
if i'd only continued to have you
in my life.

tonight you came back to me.
although i was nervous and not as comfortable
as i used to be,
you didn't fail me.

you always bring me joy
and light
and hope
and ways to fight fear
and attempts to claim confidence.
you are a true friend.

you free me
from my own bondage
and madness that is created
in the sphere i carry all around town.

you let me breathe
not physically, but spiritually
and self-lovingly.

i thank you for bringing me back,
for showing me i'm worth it
and for your sweet, enduring patience.

for with you i can fly
and fall in love again.

thank you for your smell
and international constancy.
you bring safety to once fallen knees
and a once shaken heart.

in time we will be friends once more
and i can show that embrace
through a truly simple smile
because i know you love me.

chapter 56 : all hail the cleanliness

my husband got home late from work today and is still working now at 10:25 pm. after he came in the door, i dashed out to do some shopping. upon my return and as i set some of the bags on the counter, i noticed a distinct, chemical type smell which i couldn't place. then it hit me as i walked back toward the door...mr. clean had attempted to finish painting our entry/hallway. he would have completely succeeded, but our small pint of taupe (i like to think of it more as espresso) just wasn't enough.
to spoil me even more, he cleaned our first floor as well. he did all with our little Chubbers in tow, chronic lower back pain, a sore toe and arthritis/carpal tunnel/mr. clean's usual 500 daily illnesses that don't stop him.
who would have ever thought i deserved such sweet acts of kindness...not me that's for sure!

thank you. thank you. thank you my handsome, studly mr. clean.

chapter 55 : would you like some cream with that?

look what showed up at my house a couple days after we got home from our Christmas trip? i love this thing! nothing makes me happier than special drinks and mr. clean got me just what the doctor ordered.
all you do is pour in your milk (we don't use water here), pour in your favorite instant hot chocolate mix (i prefer Stephen's Raspberry Chocolate), push the button to on and then wait for it to do it for you. it comes out at almost the perfect temperature and you can even have froth if you want too. now i just need some super cute mugs and i'm set for a cold winter's day or any day for that fact...i've had a cup a day to get me through the last week.
so if you ever need a great pick me up, pick one of these up or let me know and i'll bring it over and it will froth your worries away too.

chapter 54 : mine

at 8:08 pm 2 years ago

reality struck me

you were mine

your full, auburn hair

your deep dimples

you were mine

i still don't understand why

i'm so blessed that

you are mine

cautiously you watch

new situations

you are mine

ornery when tired

ornery when hungry

you are mine

always loving Daddy

needing your baby

you are mine

i can't imagine

life without you

you are mine

thank you for choosing

the right plan, for eternity

you are mine.

chapter 53 : i'm the Biggest

i didn't finish painting my entry/hallway, clean or fold laundry like i should have, but with tears occasionally gracing my cheeks i watched the live season finale of The Biggest Loser. they drug it out a little long for the content they actually had, but it was really great to see the dramatic changes that most of the contestants made since the beginning of the show. i really wanted Julie to win, but thought that Bill would probably take it. he worked really hard and was really nice throughout the show, so i think he deserved it too. i am just glad that Amy and Isabeau didn't win...i wasn't their biggest fans.

chapter 49 : getting back on track...sort of

while listening to Christmas classics and updating my family blog with 21 new posts from the past months (unfortunately i'm still not completely caught up :S) i decided i better show some updates here too.
i'm super excited to leave for Utah on Friday. even though i haven't decorated for the Christmas season like i hope to in the future, i am starting to finally catch the holiday spirit.
things i love about this time of year...

* another good reason to remember our Savior, Jesus Christ and all that he's done for us

* how people are more willing to give to others
* snow
* eggnog
* seeing family
* hot chocolate
* getting mail : Christmas cards
* seeing my girls beginning to enjoy holidays
* a fresh start at a new year
* being one step closer to spring, summer & SUN!

chapter 41 : F Y eye

just in case you were curious...

saw dan in real life last night. it was super great! just added it to my fave movies list. love steve carrell and it's pretty clean minus the 2 little risky parts.

i officially love roasted red pepper hummus with pita chips. now this is a huge stretch for me since i don't enjoy healthy food that much, but it's absolutely wonderful. i definitely prefer the trader joe's version over others and come to think of it, their pita chips are better too. oh and their flowers last the longest and are super inexpensive too.

still love my girls as much as ever. taylie is starting to speak in sentences and kylie is like a "baby buddah" when she goes from crawling to sitting. it's adorable.



i am so grateful for the health insurance that we have because of mr. clean's job. it's such a blessing to not have to worry about that on top of everything else in life or how we will pay for doctor's visits. we are truly blessed.

author's note: a day in my life, a memoir

daddy taking the 5 am or so wakings.
gratefully enjoying my slumber for a couple hours longer .
"loves."
nursery rhymes, silly songs and bedtime ballads :
twinkle, twinkle
itsy bitsy spider
teach me to walk in the light
i am a child of God
i love to see the temple
i need my Heavenly Father
i am like a star shining brightly
head, shoulders, knees and toes
if you're happy and you know it
little bunny foo foo
monkeys swinging in the tree
(and so many more).
fingerpainting with applesauce.
reading books.
pointing.
tantrums.
tickling.
screaming.
laughing.
changing diapers.
breastfeeding.
prayers.
signing.
giving/taking at least one bath.
trying to figure out why her eczema is extremely bad today.
3 or so cups of milk.
lots of snacks.
sharing my food because it's better for some reason.
trying without success to brush 11 little teeth.
trying to check my email and blogs as quickly as possible so that the room doesn't get messed up in about 3.5 seconds.
feeling guilt ridden because i let her watch her movie too often so I can have a little more "me" time.
actually enjoying cooking.
vegging on the computer after 7:00 pm.
my after dinner snack.
11:00 pm coming around and knowing I should have went to sleep two hours ago.

and my favorite parts:
my new baby finding her voice.
sporatic (sometimes open-mouthed) toddler kisses.
listening to and watching the loud, charismatic man I love enjoy his addiction.