chapter 10 : i dipped my toes...


1. so tonight i picked up some stuff from JoAnne's and Michaels. i got some totally cute decorative items for my house, as well as some other little stuff like stamps, ribbon, etc. the wall hangings say, "Kindness : speak kind words, receive kind echos" and "say your prayers." aren't they fabulous? love them. Taylie was a gem the entire time we were out. i love going out with her. she's such a doll.
2. actually made some cards for upcoming showers this week. i think they are my best work thus far...and that's a big thinking that about my own work. i usually hate what i create and want to throw it away.
3. i am totally inspired by this blog. don't know her, but she's great.... i think i need to check out the Good Will more often and maybe one day i will learn to upholster and then i will make some really great inexpensive furniture even better.
4. love my friend Lynn and her fam. love our almost weekly get togethers. she reminds of how important it is to grow personally, as a woman. she makes me want to be more kind, thoughtful and generous with my time and with i am better for others, especially my family. she is wonderful. i wish everyone could have a "Lynn" in their lives.
5. hoping to get a sewing machine someday
6. bought a new fridge this morning. went with the white one that matches everything else. why pay $2000 when the $500 one does the same thing?
7. going to look at paint tomorrow. hoping to get started tomorrow evening. i'm so ECSTATIC about the possibility of how the paint in my house could make me HAPPY. i'm a dork, but i guess i need to relish the small things to enjoy life.

* hoping to post pictures of new decorations, cards and painted walls/possible remodel stuff soon.

chapter 9 : excitement


so i am so excited due to the possibility that we might go and look at paint for our house soon. i can't wait. i hope we do so i can hopefully get started on the road to making the space i live in more a reflection of me rather than just a place to be.
i'll keep you posted...oh and a HUGE thanks to Michelle for her thoughtfulness on my behalf. no i'm not ready to take the insanity plea yet, just had a mere set back in my previous post and am now ready to get moving forward again.

chapter 8 : guilt, unfortunately one of my companions in life


i'm surrounded by GUILT at this moment. guilt because i once again ate too much at dinner, most of my dishes are piled high next to the sink, i'm not going to work out and am wasting almost $73.00 each month on fees, i am not a better wife and mother, i'm even entertaining the thought of finding a part-time job when i know it's definitely not what i should do right now, my house isn't ever clean enough, of the way i spend money, i expect too much out of people, i'm so hard to live with, i'm not doing hardly anything to help me become the person i want to be, i lose my temper too much lately, i don't live in the moment, i don't simplify my life, i want ME time, i've made mistakes in my past that i regret, i always find the negative rather than the positive in life, i spend too much time thinking "what if...", i'm never happy with my body size, i constantly make excuses for my actions, i'm so lazy, i'm always tired, i'm jealous of others, and i'm NEVER HAPPY.

chapter 7 : my foe, the me!


while talking with my friend Sariah today, i realized even more about my dislike of the telephone. actually, it's pretty weird. it's not exactly anxiety, but just a feeling of i really don't want to answer or call on the phone. please no one take this personal, but often, i screen my calls especially if i'm not sure of the phone number, and know that i will receive a voicemail if it's really important. on occasion i will answer and usually am super glad i did, but it's so NOT my fav. thing in life.
during my great convo with Sariah, she mentioned, "yeah it's kind of nice to talk over email or internet because if you forget something it's still there, but on the phone I tend to forget details." she totally gave me even more ammo. to back up my lack of love for sending words through the receiver, not to mention that there is a score of many other reasons not too talk on the phone. case in point...
* $ (you know that little green stuff we all must have to survive...sidenote : i think the Kia "Save the Greenbacks" marketing campaign in hilarious)
* some might tell you that the phone is the best way to stay connected with others and that it's very impersonal. have you ventured into the blog world. i say?
* i'm often more kind when i use the computer to communicate
* i'm more willing to open up and share myself through the non-verbal form
* i don't really want to talk on the phone...

ironically, there have been many months that we have almost went over on our minutes like a week before the cycle ended. i'll blame those on the real estate agent and the very, very important talks in the middle of the day with my Mom. let's just say that without those times, my sanity was at stake due to being home all day! Oh FAB 5 where are you when i need you so?

in sum, i just really don't care to talk on the phone. once i'm doing it, i'm happy, but i just don't want to do.

the end

chapter 6 : will you make the list?


tonight, in an attempt to continue shaping my personality, i started yet another blog. so now the list contains: - my cute family
therealhmmmm - my journal blog
hmmmm - my old journal blog - fab fave & fat flops about all of my likes and dislikes

so i might have too much under my belt, but as long as i keep going with them, i think i can get most of my life in one place. let's just hope that blogger never crashes, eh?!?

chapter 5: moving in the right direction, well sort of


finally posting while hoping no one will notice the gap between entries! i think i've taken some small steps toward becoming more of who i would like to be, at least in the being a better woman (mom and wife too) and hobby department.
i've been trying to do at least a little make up, as well as get dressed each day (i wear clothes, but i mean change into something better than pajama type stuff). stacey and clinton would be so proud! i also tried to overcome my stupid picking at my face habit and i'm happy to report i've only had one major set back! proactive is looking more and more in the "rear-view" each day.

i actually made some bows for my girls and they didn't turn out too shabby. i am hoping to start sewing too so that i can make cute things for my home, gifts for friends and maybe even sell some stuff one day (*tk designs). i also have some ideas for my home that i hope we can start putting into effect soon. so if $ didn't matter, this is what i would like to do:

* put real hard wood where the laminate is now
* knock out the wall in my kitchen to make it more open and push the counter back about 1 ft. and completely remodel it
* change the sliding glass doors into french doors
* paint
* remove the popcorn ceilings on the unvaulted ceilings
* add crown molding, new floorboards and doors
* completely redo the bathrooms with tile floors and possible change the layout of the master bathroom
* change the placement of the outlets
* not have a water damage problem anywhere

and some design ideas i would like to do:

* get more furniture throughout the house (living room, bedroom, dining room)
* frame some paper i found that will tie in my living room, dining room and kitchen perfectly
* put up some drapery in the girls' room that will help it be darker when Taylie's sleeping and will give it a cuter and more finished feel
* put up some kind of window treatments in the living room
* get some stinkin' cute patio furniture and outdoor carptet for possible "porch dates" (no dirty thoughts daniel)