chapter 25 : just let them be

my oldest daughter is very cautious in new situations and around new people. as a Mom, i want her to be outgoing, respond to people who talk to her and smile too. i find myself wanting her to be like the other kids in the group at the library who are singing, dancing and showing the fun they're having rather than just staring at everyone. i think, "what is she doing?" and i even tell her to be like everyone else. i selfishly want to show the world how adorable she is and all of the cute things she does at home. i need to stop and relish in how positive this cautiousness actually is.
the ironic part that hit me today is how much she is like me. i'm definitely not a shy person, but in a new situation, i can be quiet until i feel more comfortable and maybe less judged and we're both very analytical.
she takes time to warm up and be comfortable and i should be grateful for that. i should be glad that she isn't running around talking to everyone we see. i should be thankful that she isn't so comfortable with strangers that she will just go with them. i should be happy that my child wants safety and stability and she doesn't immediately find that in an uncomfortable or strange new situation.
i think of the many lessons which i want to teach my children, one stands out at this moment. i want them to be who they are and NEVER be afraid of it. i want them to be confident and happy. i never want them to feel ashamed for their character traits that make them individuals. i want to just let them be and never ever cause them to doubt who they are.
i want this for them so much because i know what it is like to feel this way and can't imagine putting that on my children. i love my girls so much and love their differences as well as their sweet smiles.
i am also so grateful that i am recognizing this at this moment and enjoying WHO my child is. she isn't bad, weird and nothing is wrong with her. she is cautious and for that, i'm grateful.

chapter 24 : swinging moon

today was
beautiful.

the moon on the left.
the sun on the right.
my girls enjoying the swings in the warm afternoon.

it was one's first time to see that nightly sphere
and the other's first time to enjoy that swaying motion outdoors.

i felt blessed.
i felt grateful.
i loved my husband more deeply.

today was
beautiful.

chapter 23 : the lack thereof

i'm tired. recently, i've been staying up too late doing nothing of any real meaning. my eyes want to close, but i keep them open with invisible toothpicks and lots of blinks.
then truth slaps me in the face:
I HAVE NO SELF-CONTROL.
this also eludes to the fact that the more sleep i get, the nicer and more kind i am. poor Husband! moving onto my next point...if it's edible, sweet and in front of me, my brain thinks i must eat it. unfortuanetly, my still puffified, baby belly, butt and thighs know otherwise and you know that i don't look good in anything form fitting any more.
but what to do? i know in my mind that i shouldn't eat junk, but i can't stop myself. i have plenty of motivation, but it all goes out the window when the special treat is in front of me. i have a problem, ok many problems...
i can't control my eating habits
i can't control my sleeping schedule
i can't control my shopping addiction
i'm tired.
no white at this time in life, only black and the hole is getting deep!

chapter 22 : here kitty kitty

so i thought i would be brave and try making a blanket from one of the kits that comes with the material and instructions. i don't even like cats, but this one had the cutest colors and materials for one of the girls to have. i'm not finished yet, but so far so good.

chapter 21 : nothing else to say

i don't think there is anything else i can say beside i think we need a microwave. this is what happened when i tried to make instant oatmeal on the stove. poor Taylie didn't get any oatmeal the morning this happened. i am currently taking donations in the "please don't let my family starve because i burned our microwave up" fund. anything you can give to this great cause would be greatly appreciated ;)

chapter 20 : the new craving begins

this is my first bag i made with Lynn's help. what a wonderful teacher i have!

practicing at home...thanks to Jennifer for letting me borrow her machine...
it's true. i really am doing it...
some proof of my practice...

chapter 19 : i wanted it

here is the statue that i got for my house recently. i love the way it shows the relationship between a mother and child. i thought it would be a nice piece to have in my home.

chapter 18 : interesting

some things to know just in case:
* if any liquid beside water or milk is colored, according to Taylie it is juice.
* Chubbers has proven that you don't have to crawl to be mobile at 5 months old.
* never give Taylie too much milk in one day, she will throw up repeatedly all over you.
* if you want to start your day off well, just look at Kylie's huge smile in the morning and you'll have a wonderful day.
* Taylie now repeats, "I want James!" when asking for her Grandpa.
* Taylie affectionately calls her cousin Annika, "Ka ka."
* Kylie likes and wants to eat food. so far peas have gone over well.
* there is no end in sight to the "toys" that big boys need ;). anyone need a used DS? (just teasing)
* sewing is really great.
* there is nothing sweeter than holding my two girls while they're sleeping. they truly are the sweetest blessing that i'm not sure i deserve.

chapter 17 : the answer

i was privileged to receive the answer to my previous post here. the words that were spoken really helped me to not feel overwhelmed and that i can know what i can do each day to try and help someone.