i'll pass on the perm, but you get the point...last night i couldn't sleep. i think it was possibly the WORST insomnia i've ever had. there are perhaps some reasons for it though...
* since it was Sunday, we all took a nap and it was really good one...about 3 hours
* i started taking some new vitamins (odorless fish oil, vitamin D and fiber) and i took them in the evening so they wouldn't bug my stomach as much as they have in prior days...could they cause this? anyone know?
so it was about quarter after 3 last night and upon my 2nd attempt at slumber, baby K was ready for a bottle and then i finally fell asleep probably about 20 minutes or so following that. let's just say even though mr. clean was super sweet and let me sleep in later than he wanted to, 8:00 came WAY too early!
today, i took the new pills with lunch, but here i am at almost 1 and feel as though i could go all night with my head touching my pillow. luckily, i got some rest while baby K napped and the Bug watched her show or i would have been "dead meat" all day, especially since i didn't leave my house.
i've decided lately though how much i really want to pursue a dream of mine...the world of COSMETOLOGY. every time i get my hair cut or nails done, i wish i knew exactly how to do what they were doing. i wish i had a great friend from hair school who could do my hair and helped me keep it looking fabulous year round. i wish that i was able to do work some appointments out of my house at night or on Sat. for friends and family.
realistically, it would be SUPER hard to make this happen. mr. clean's current job (which he absolutely loves) is flexible, but not exactly willing to work around my schedule. with a ship date coming up in the not too distance future, with each day, it will/would be harder for me to keep a time commitment especially if i had to be in the big city by 5:00 each day...there's no way i can commute and be on time with traffic, his job and life.
so i keep trying to talk myself out of it and yet, i keep coming back to it. i would LOVE to be able to do it so much if for nothing more than myself. yes it would be nice to have a way to make a little extra cash each week/month. yes it would be nice to feel like i have something of my own that i help others with. yes it would be nice to have a trade that if needed i could fall back on. all of these reasons make me want it more and yet i can't bring myself to push for it and make it happen.
if only gas wasn't so stinking expensive! if only someone would do part-time night classes (yes it would take like 4 hours, but who cares...at least i'm doing the classes and doing them well). if only i would have done this before my kids, but i didn't know and i didn't feel as strongly about it then as i do now.
often i feel like i'm wasting my time and i know that is my own fault, but i don't have one hobby that i totally love or enjoy enough to do it all the time. i try something, get bored, put it away for a while and then come back to it later. i am very ADD about projects. i'm not a pro at one thing and i would like to be. i would love to feel like i have a niche and that i'm REALLY good at something instead of pretty good at a lot of things. i also think it's important for me to do something sooner than later if i'm going to do it because it would be easier to do something like this now before i have more children in the future.
i still have dreams of going back to school and getting my Masters degree in Social Work and probably focusing on Dance Therapy, but i don't feel like i'm up for that now. it's totally in my HEART, but isn't tugging at me like this other stuff is.
as a stay-at-home Mom, i KNOW that i am contributing in the most important way i can...teaching my children right from wrong, who they are and most importantly to try and act like the Savior in all that they do, but i also wish i had just something on the side to help get me through.
well. waiting to hear back from a school, but i'm not getting my hopes up as i doubt it will work for my current situation. i look once in a while and keep hoping that i will find the right program for me. i guess that's the most important lesson in all of this...learning to TRUST in Heavenly Father and his timing for what will happen in my life.
we'll see what happens in the future.
yours truly.
1 comments:
I used to work with vitamins and the fiber, fish oil and vitamin D should not cause you to have sleeping problems. However, since they are new to you, you may have issues with them for a little bit, while your body gets used to them.
About Cosmetology, it is great to have those skills. But if you get bored with things easily (like I do), you may want to "pratice" on people first before you spend the time and money on going to beauty school. I went through beauty school and then decided that it was not for me. I am glad that I learned those skills but, I rarely use them other than cutting my families hair. Good Luck.
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